A fleeting thought

Highway. Driving to Batangas. Gazing out the window. A thought. All these cars are on the way to somewhere. Seems like everyone has a destination. A place, a somebody to go to. Overheard conversations in the car. Talking about the past. Talking about the present. Realized that I love everyone in the car. That they were once like me. Young. Thinking. Where am I headed? What’s my direction?

Gazing out the window. Realized I’ve gazed out lots of windows. At home. In cars. In planes. I always have this nagging thought. What am I doing here? Why am I going to this place?

I’m a tiny spec. I’m insignificant. I’m old enough to know that the world does not revolve around me. Life is bigger than any one of us. God is a mystery. For thinkers like me, the only way to stay sane is to hold on to people close to me. Love and be loved. Find solace, a piece of heaven from the hugs of nephews, nieces. That greatness is within each of us if you look hard enough. That humility is a great virtue.

I know what I want and need to do. But I am restless. Impatient in a way. Impatient that the world can’t seem to keep up. I have this bad assumption of always asking if one got what I have just said. Thinking that perhaps they haven’t really understood? Am I making myself clear?

Meantime, I am here. Insignificant. A tiny spec. What am I doing here? I need to go. I need to start doing what I said I’d do. Where to begin…?

Echoes of conversations drifting in my head…car…on the way to Batangas. Aaaahhh, here. HERE…

A sense of calm. A prayer of thanks. A smile.