Sunset Monologue

there is a certain kind of broken-ness that reside in all of us. a broken-ness that we can't seem to find a way to solve until we find the "will" to do so.

some people make the mistake of fixing this broken-ness with a quick fix, trying to escape the fact that it will take a lot in effort, (and yes) time and a lot of prayer. we can't do it alone. we need other people but in seeking the help from other people, we have to be honest with ourselves. we have to acknowledge the need because if we don't, we end up hurting them, leaving them confused, wondering and broken - as if they weren't broken enough to begin with.

but it is in this broken-ness that we find a certain kind of beauty within ourselves. a beauty, once acknowledged, help us see who we really are. a painful beauty, once acknowledged, makes us free to live with the broken-ness - knowing it has meaning and purpose.

Mom and Flowers

A fleeting thought

Highway. Driving to Batangas. Gazing out the window. A thought. All these cars are on the way to somewhere. Seems like everyone has a destination. A place, a somebody to go to. Overheard conversations in the car. Talking about the past. Talking about the present. Realized that I love everyone in the car. That they were once like me. Young. Thinking. Where am I headed? What’s my direction?

Gazing out the window. Realized I’ve gazed out lots of windows. At home. In cars. In planes. I always have this nagging thought. What am I doing here? Why am I going to this place?

I’m a tiny spec. I’m insignificant. I’m old enough to know that the world does not revolve around me. Life is bigger than any one of us. God is a mystery. For thinkers like me, the only way to stay sane is to hold on to people close to me. Love and be loved. Find solace, a piece of heaven from the hugs of nephews, nieces. That greatness is within each of us if you look hard enough. That humility is a great virtue.

I know what I want and need to do. But I am restless. Impatient in a way. Impatient that the world can’t seem to keep up. I have this bad assumption of always asking if one got what I have just said. Thinking that perhaps they haven’t really understood? Am I making myself clear?

Meantime, I am here. Insignificant. A tiny spec. What am I doing here? I need to go. I need to start doing what I said I’d do. Where to begin…?

Echoes of conversations drifting in my head…car…on the way to Batangas. Aaaahhh, here. HERE…

A sense of calm. A prayer of thanks. A smile.

Furnished at Last!

Well, it's just the basic stuff - no trace of accessorizing and lighting yet but it's now live-able and quite nice to look at. I'm quite excited to improve it even more especially now that Nanay and Tita Nel will come live with me for 2 months. They're coming over on June 11 - yey! They'll teach me how to cook my favorite Filipino dishes and to operate the washing machine and the dryer! (I haven' t touched one in my life!!! Anyway, time to learn =)

Anette and Jomel's Wedding

Just a small tribute to my cousin who got married and demanded I return to Manila to be part of her entourage. =) It was one of the most beautiful weddings I was able to attend. Everyone was so happy for them and they themselves (Anette and Jomel) are so very happy they inspired everyone who was there with their love.

It is just the start of their life together and I wish them all the best in the years to come =)